Tuesday, January 6, 2009

What is it?! Who? What? Where? When? and of course... Why?

Oh man I am just going to jump in to it right now... I am not sure what is going on with me right now but something is not right and needs to change in my life. Yeah It sounds cheesy and everything but hey, God is definitely telling me a lot of stuff right now and showing me that I need to change A lot in my life..( I dont Know what your(the reader) views are about God are, but There is only one true god and he is Jesus Christ. And I don't want you to view me as a"religious person". I am a Christ follower and I have a personal relationship with my God.) But anyway...
God is telling me a lot of stuff that I really dont want to hear. Honestly it is a lot of stuff that I don't want to do but I know I have too. I know it. I cannot tell you what it exactly is, but I will tell you that it is with certain relationships that I have. There are relationships that eventually I need to let drop...maybe naturally but I am not sure yet. I think God puts relationships into our lives for us to grow, and mature in our walks more. Some relationships are here and than out the door but I feel each one has a purpose or had a purpose, and I love when you can look at those and see the purpose of them. One person could really help you see how selfish you are being. One relationship could show you that you really need to change certain things in your life. All these relationships and their purposes Really helps let you know God is in control.
I also just need to start growing up.. as gay as that sounds. I think I have been kinda almost scared to "grow up". And yes again, I am not too sure what exactly what that means but I have some Ideas. I really need to put a lot of my energy and Time into my photography business. I need to start getting that really going and really get to the point where I can support myself and eventually a family. And yeah that too me is pretty dang scary.. But hey I AM 20 HA!

I feel like God is trying to show me so much right now, and I think Faithwalkers triggered a lot of this. When I was there I didnt feel like I learned too much from anything.. but more of the experience as a whole, and from hangin out with everyone. The thing is out of all the stuff I feel He is speaking to me about, I am not sure what He is trying to say yet. But that will come in time.. right?! I had a good drive home tonight just talking to him... and I remember thinking this.. "I wish he actually talked to me" Than I shot that thought down!.. He does ...so much just in different ways and you can feel it! Its like a certain pressure on your heart, or like a bad feeling, or the feeling that all your burdens were taken away.. He is amazing. I think he also speaks through circumstances in your life. He shuts doors and opens new ones... Its great but can also be so frustrating because you cannot see what He is doing!
I dont really know what else to say... but I feel like there is more.....
God is the only true source of Joy... there is nowhere else you can find it... you will try but nothing satisfies like true living water that Jesus offers.
Psalm 138
3V: When I pray you answer me; you encourage me by giving me the strength I need
V8 The Lore will work out his plans for my life- For your faithful love, O Lord endures forever. Dont abandon me for you made me!

I think that is all.. no pic of the day..sorry!!

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